Nomadic Thoughts

In five hours, I must wake up and prepare for my morning workout at the gym. Or, I can slack off, and go in the evening. Never worked out in the evening before… Hmmmm… Anyways. In roughly two weeks or so, I will be a nomad. Lost. Without a home of my own. All my things will be locked away in storage, or until my step mother gets bored and needs a hobby, and decides to discard my belongings saying that the storage locker is just too "piled up" and needs to be downsized. She's nuts that way. Bored, unhappy, always needing to do something to feel relevant. Am I any different? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Why do I travel? Is it to feel relevant? Or am I going on a wild adventure because I feel I may never again have the opportunity? I have to settle myself somewhere, someplace. I don't have much. In any context. I don't have much in terms of things, people that I feel close to, or anything else really.

I don't know how to make my life work. I wrote a screenplay, one that might flop. I have to prepare for the worst. I don't know how. If the agency sells the screenplay, great! If not... I can expect a hard road ahead. What do I expect to get out of this... This road trip. How is it a good investment of time and effort? What am I supposed to be doing? This screenplay is not going to work. That's not insecure thinking, it's probability, variation, and a casino game working against me. I'm on my own now. I'm homeless, lost, and unsure of what to do. What can I get out of this experience to help me move forward? I wish I knew. I wish I had more direction. I don't know a single soul in Hollywood. I don't know who to send my screenplay to. Yet, if everything stayed the same, and the house was not sold, I'd be in the same place. Working. Saving. Buying toys. This change, has me looking west. The screenplay is all I have. It's my only ticket. I guess I have to at least try. I should read up on that perhaps. Other agencies.